Worship

There's a calm that covers me

When I kneel down at your feet

It's a place of healing

It's a place where I find freedom

I sang this song as I rocked her.  She's been in our home five weeks, and this is the first time she has ever let me rock her to sleep. During the day, she laughs, babbles, hugs, smiles, and kisses. But there are evenings and bedtimes when she thrashes about, bites, kicks, pinches, and scratches. The only way to get her down for the night is to lay her down alone in her crib in the complete dark and close the door. She pulls the cover over her head and sleeps peacefully. But how I have wanted her to know me, to trust me enough to fall asleep in my arms. As I sang to her tonight, she wrapped her little arms around me and patted my back. She tilted her forehead toward my kisses. And when I felt her body go limp in sleep, I worshiped the God who gives peace...the God who calms the soul.

He complains about his chore again tonight. It's his turn to wash dishes. Like all 15 year-olds, he tries to get out of it. And he has for 2 days. But if he lives here, then he lives here. He's no longer a guest. He's not getting away with it again today. In typical teenager form, he agrees to a bargain. He unloads the dishwasher and I load. Later as I come down the hall, I see him sitting alone in the bedroom looking at his phone. He has peace here in our home. I kiss him goodnight just like I do my boys, and he says "I love you." He has a mom, dad, grandparents, and brothers that love him, but he's part of my family too. And I worship the sovereign God that made our paths cross.

I worship you Lord for the peace and freedom I find in you.

It sounded so scary to love children that don't belong to you...won't always be with you...that you don't raise from the beginning...that might be different than your children...that might be broken and hurt and in chaos. It sounded like such a hard job. 

I'm so thankful God calmed my fears, because loving these two is the easiest thing I've ever done.